Life’s a mess. Let’s laugh about it together.

When you bustle your way onto the train, squished in, unable to see your hands and definitely not your feet you get a sense of calm knowing you can soon escape it all when you get out your mobile listen to some music and get engrossed in the happenings of the world since you last logged into Facebook. Then the horrible shock, the unbelievable moment when realise 'it's not in there'. Not believing what you are starting to realise you open your handbag up further, ensure it is

That's my seat! There are three seats next to each other. They are not divided by an arm rest, but it is very clear there are three separate chairs. Naturally you would assume the three seats are for three people to sit on. Alas, we have been fooled; they are really only for two and a quarter person. But who is that quarter person? I've not met a quarter person, but they must exist, or the person who makes trains must know a quarter person otherwise they would make the three-

While employed as an Advisor in a company in Sydney I was promoted to Senior Business Advisor. A well-respected advance in my career - rewarded with too much bubbly that evening with friends and colleagues.  ‘Senior’ - means higher up the work food chain, more money and new business cards. This change in status you tell people about and feel a sense of pride when you announce at meetings and to others your position at work. You find yourself quickly changing your email signat

Packed like sardines in a tin can! London transport is packed at the best of times, but when the winter weather comes along, we become squashed sardines in an excessively small tin can! If you visit London in 'summer' you will hear commuters complain about the tubes being too warm and having no ventilation. They are sauna like conditions and unfortunately a sauna that has not been appropriately sterilized. The only good thing is that you seem to have a little more space. Not

While in my local supermarket the other day I tore off a recipe card from one of the shelves above the chicken aisle. The recipe was for a chicken casserole. I picked up the ingredients; thyme, rosemary, onions, spring greens, baby carrots, chicken stock, garlic and chicken thighs and went home eager to start cooking. As I read the recipe card, I performed each task as it was stated on the card. Slice onions into quarters, mix chicken stock and brown chicken in fry pan. Simpl

What a great gadget. TomTom not only helps us get us to where we want to go but it has saved our relationship from inevitable car-directions-based destruction. Before TomTom one of us, usually me, had to read a map and direct us where to go. Usually that would involve very simple to understand, clear, concise directions. Usually, those directions were understood and followed. On some occasions I could not read the map, my boyfriend could not understand my instructions and ang

It is a Saturday night, and I want to go out for a drink. I don't have anyone to go with but I'm tired of being indoors all day. I need to get dressed up and sip a lovely crisp white wine and relax. So why am I balking and questioning how much do I really want to go out? I know the answer, because we are tired of being picked up by men who see us alone and think we are vulnerable and well let’s face it -alone. It is that feeling when I sit at a table alone that I'm being asse

"Your zipper, sir" I am standing on a train and I have noticed a business man sitting down in the vestibule area with his fly undone. What do I do? If I tell him he will undoubtedly question me (whether silently or verbally) - 'what are you doing looking at my crutch?'. A fair question which I'm not immediately sure how to answer. "um, I was just looking at all the men’s crutches and noticed yours was trying to perform an escape act", "I love the colour blue and noticed that

Walking to work I noticed a little boy, probably 3 years of age, dragging his feet behind his father. His father was walking swiftly, in a business suit and tie. The father was regularly turning back to look at the boy, making sure he was there, and reminding him to "hurry up, Daddy's got a meeting this morning". The little boy was mumbling something about wanting food and not wanting to walk anymore. Touching everything along his path the little boy decided to stand still. H

Whenever I fly, I wonder whether I am being videoed, in fact whether we are all be watched. Watched by airplane meal designers while they sit at a long table sipping a lovely red wine from a Riedel wine glass and slicing a medium rare fillet steak with a Jamie Oliver steak knife, while we try and manage a three course meal on a table the size of an iPad with plastic cutlery, water in jelly like tubs with foil lids that have been super glued down, and wine served in cups just

Walking through Central station can be dangerous. You could die! OK, maybe I'm exaggerating but you definitely could get seriously hurt....

ZZZZzzzzzZZZzzzzZZZZZzzz.Where is it? Is it on me? Has it flown away? ZZZZzzzzZZZZzz. Nope, still here. I don't want to get out of bed. Maybe I can pull my bedding up and cover myself so it can't get me. Surely it cannot puncture my quilt and find my sweet red nectar it so desperately seeks. But can I risk it? ZZZzzzZZZzzz. Mosquitos are advanced and highly superior predators. They come out on a balmy summer nights when the last thing you want to do is pull your doona up cove

"My god it's hot in here"..... I look around to see if anyone else felt the way I did. "Shh!" an evil look from a slim, scantily dressed 40ish woman comes my way while she, with straight legs straddling her yoga mat bends over and lays out her towel. "This is quiet and resting time". Rest time. Who rests in 40-degree heat? If I rest, I am scared I will not wake up. "Sorry. But it's damn hot in here. I mean, Aren't you hot?" Don't worry about answering that I already know the

I am starting to realise that I am not a normal girl. I find shopping tedious and frustrating. The shopping I mildly enjoy is when meandering the streets of a new town and browsing their boutiques and unusual shops.  But otherwise, shopping is a reminder of cash I don't have to spend, a body that still needs a little more toning up before I try  that  on, and crowds of rude women that left their friendly self at the front door when they left home to go shopping. I've been tol

Sitting on a three-person seat on a 6.51am train into Central, Sydney in winter seems to result in unrequited stranger snuggling. It is cold, it is dark, and people are tired. More tired than in summer when the sun keeps us perked up and also provides light on those secret snugglers. I find a vacant middle seat in the three-person bench and sit down. I find it difficult to sleep in an upright position, so I am usually awake with my eyes wide open on my train journeys in and o

Most people you speak to who are married say the day was amazing, best day ever, wonderful, loved it and would love to do it again with their partner. What they don't say it you spend a wad of cash for about 5 hours of fun and a year of stress, family feuds and worry. Now would that happen if you eloped and celebrated in Europe? I mean $30k can go a long way.... Especially when 1 in 4 ends in divorce. Who'd bet $30k on that stat?! Now it is too late for me. I'm getting marri

Have you noticed how people congregate on train platforms. They space themselves out along the platform to match where doors will stop or at least where they think they will stop. How predictable and in love with a routine we humans are! Some people must have been catching the same train a very long time; possibly for too long a time. They never get it wrong and always stand in the exact same spot morning and night for their train. Like they have counted the tiles and safety

Sitting in the lounge room of my friend's house the other day I came out with the statement  a baby is not a suitcase. Now before you assume that my blonde hair had something to do with the comment it is important that I put this statement in the correct context. My friend is a new mum and flew to Australia with her 3-month-old for Christmas to see friends and family and to introduce her lovely new bundle of joy. Her husband also flew out, however, he only had 4 weeks holida

I try to stay away from public transport on hot hot days but I had no other choice today. Hubby has the car and I have an appointment to...

I never realised there would be a time in my life when I would be counting nappies. Or, more surprisingly, looking for mobile apps to...