No thanks TomTom

What a great gadget.

TomTom not only helps us get us to where we want to go but it has saved our relationship from inevitable car-directions-based destruction.

Before TomTom one of us, usually me, had to read a map and direct us where to go. Usually that would involve very simple to understand, clear, concise directions. Usually, those directions were understood and followed. On some occasions I could not read the map, my boyfriend could not understand my instructions and anger and frustration unraveled including profanities due to an absolute denial of fault and being told "get out until you can read a bloody map" and in response "you're an idiot piss off". As you can imagine these were real relationship making experiences.

But TomTom has cured us; we now hurl abuse at it instead.On one occasion we typed into TomTom a request to help navigate us to my friend’s house. We had an idea where it was but knew we would be lost if we went off in our 'I think I know direction’. So, after typing the address into TomTom off we set. We got asked if we wanted to avoid tolls- No. Did we want to minimise delays- Yes (who doesn't?) following TomTom's instructions every step of the way. After a while it became apparent TomTom was lost. It kept turning us down streets that made a 'U' and put us on the same road, then asked us to turn down a one-way street, the wrong way and circled us again on ourselves. We started to get angry but rather than yell at each other, we joined forces and hurled abuse at TomTom.  TomTom you have let us down. I reached into the back pocket behind the passenger seat to pull out our 1980s hard cover street directory 'Gregory'.

Luckily Gregory was where I left it.

We located the address and off we drove. We switched TomTom off and praised the reliability of Gregory.

But TomTom isn't all bad, sometimes I think it wants to hurl abuse at me. There are many times I type an address into TomTom that I already know. I look to see if TomTom will direct me the way I already know. Like I am quizzing TomTom. So far it is me = 5 TomTom = 1.

When we set off, I follow TomTom’s guide, but halfway along the way start choosing other roads to see how quickly TomTom can catch up. Poor TomTom telling me to turn right, turn right and I keep going straight on. I wait for the day TomTom says, “piss off and find your own way then" and then shuts down during the middle of the trip after driving me to the middle of nowhere - TomTom saying, "find your way back now Miss know-it-all".

I've also used TomTom as a language tool. Sometimes I switch to French or Spanish to see if I can learn a language. I guess 'left', 'right' and 'you've reached your destination' will only take me so far in Paris but it adds a challenge to an otherwise boring trip. I've also mocked some of the accents and the Australian language option. I thought English was English it doesn't matter the accent.

However, this explains why a friend of mine in London once said, she spoke English and I spoke Australian 'you know English with an accent'!