Life’s a mess. Let’s laugh about it together.

I've got a theory. The butterfly stroke wasn't invented to improve swimming. It was invented by another country that had finally had enough of Australia winning everything in the pool. Picture the meeting. "Right, Australia keeps winning the swimming. Any ideas?" "We could train harder"..... "Nah" We could build longer pools"..... "Nah" "What about colder water?"..... "Nah" "We could make them swim uphill"...... "You're an idiot." A long silence. Then someone quietly says, "W

When you are young, an older man can seem incredibly sophisticated. Not sophisticated in the actual sense of the word, necessarily. He may know nothing about fine wine, international politics or which fork to use at a fancy restaurant, but he has a car. His own car. A car that does not belong to his parents and does not require a large red P plate stuck to the front and back before he can leave the house. Already, he is practically James Bond. He also has a proper job and, ev

There are certain things in life that nobody ever actually teaches you, yet somehow we all know the rules. Take lifts. At no point during my schooling do I remember a lesson on lift etiquette. There was no worksheet. No practical assessment. Nobody stood at the front of the classroom and said, “Right, children. Today we’re going to learn what to do when you enter a small moving box with strangers.” Yet somehow, regardless of where you are in the world, we all seem to know exa

There are two main human models available at birth. Nobody gives you a brochure, but it turns out one comes with considerably higher ongoing running costs. I’ve been thinking about all the stuff women have to do simply because we were issued the female model of the human body. Not stuff we choose to do. I’m not talking about hair colouring, fake nails or owning fourteen pairs of shoes when we regularly wear three. I mean the compulsory stuff. When we are born, there is really