Winter growing pains

Packed like sardines in a tin can!

London transport is packed at the best of times, but when the winter weather comes along, we become squashed sardines in an excessively small tin can!

If you visit London in 'summer' you will hear commuters complain about the tubes being too warm and having no ventilation. They are sauna like conditions and unfortunately a sauna that has not been appropriately sterilized. The only good thing is that you seem to have a little more space. Not a lot, but enough so that none of your body is touching another commuter. Oh, the feeling of personal space on public transport – a luxury we rarely get.  It seems during this period that everyone is a little slimmer having dieted and exercised in spring for the hopeful few weeks we call summer. Everyone is also wearing fewer clothes and so it would seem we all take up less space.

Come autumn and the beginning of cold weather we start to see the beginning of the public transport growing pains. People start stopping at their local pub on their way home for a cheeky pint, enjoying baked potatoes and cheese for lunch and just generally enjoying a more extravagant carbohydrate rich lifestyle. A lifestyle to overcome or possibly pretend we are not noticing winter is slowing coming upon us.

What also happens at this time of year is people start wearing layers. A jumper, a coat, a scarf, a beanie and layers of other undergarments to keep us warm. These layers add up. Everyone seems to grow a dress size or two in autumn to winter.... And while people are growing our excessively small sardine can remains the same size. Something’s got to give -and it does.

People become angrier and shorter tempered. They have no patience and are ready to snap at any time. We become walking live hand grenades. The journey to work becomes more and more painful...only alleviated by the two weeks around Christmas and New Year when people embrace the closeness. Then on the first week of work after the New Year expect no mercy.

People are angrier, they are wearing more layers, and your personal space becomes less than zero. When you size up your carriage and see there is enough space for a small wooden rod you think ‘I will fit in there’ and then you squeeze yourself on. Like jamming that last item into an already packed cupboard - throw it in, shut the door and hope for the best.

I say let's beat them at their own game. Call up your local fancy dress shop and order that sumo suit you saw your crazy friend wear to a recent Halloween party.  Imagine the looks you would get as you stand at your train station in your sumo suit. People might not be too impressed, but hell who cares, they were not impressed when you tried to show consideration. Or buy yourself a pair of Speedos. You will get some space if you stand at your train station in just a pair of pink budgie smugglers. Show no mercy give no mercy – do what you need to do - and get back your personal space!