Hey Mum – The Device You Never Expected to Become

I realised the other day that I had become another household device.

It wasn’t like it happened overnight. It crept in slowly, building over time, until I had one of those lightbulb moments and thought… hang on… I’m basically a “Hey” device.

Not “Hey Siri.”

Not “Hey Alexa.”

Not “Hey Google.”

But “Hey Mum.”

The moment it’s said, it’s like my whole system switches on without me even agreeing to it.

No consent. No loading time. Just… activated.

I’m convinced the Hey Mum device gets all the questions my children don’t trust Siri or Google to answer. Either that, or they’re stress testing the system to see when I might just explode in the middle of the lounge room.

The other day Jacob, my 9-year-old, activated the device just as I was sitting down, about to enjoy one of my very limited “me” moments.

“Hey Mum” (device activated) - how much does The Rock earn?”

Device response: “More than me, son.”

I paused and thought… where did that come from? Then I looked up and realised he was watching Baywatch the movie. Not the old David Hasselhoff version I grew up with. The new one.

Right. That explains it. Also… probably time to turn that off and find something a little more PG and age appropriate for his influential mind. As I go to change the channel the device is activated again.

“Hey Mum” (device still on) - I heard a man grew 4 metres tall. Can I grow that tall?”

Device response: “No. And I hope not, because you wouldn’t fit into your clothes, your bed, or our car.”

Logical. Practical. Done.

“Hey Mum” (device definitely still on) - who would win in a fight, Godzilla or The Hulk?”

Now this is where things get serious. You don’t hesitate in these moments.

Device response: “Godzilla, of course.”

I provide no explanation, no facts - just an answer with absolutely confidence. That’s what can shut down the momentum of questions .... or at least… that’s the aim.

Because every question comes with a decision. Do I answer in a way that ends the conversation, or do I accidentally open the door to five more follow-ups?

The strategy is simple. Commit confidently, whether I know the answer or not. Deliver it like it’s fact. Hope for no further questions.

So far… surprisingly effective.

Now, what I’ve also noticed is that the older member of the household has observed how well this device works and has introduced a second activation mode.

“Hey Hun.” Same device. New function.

This mode is less about random, slightly concerning questions and more about practical, life-admin style queries.

“Hey Hun, what was the plan for dinner tonight?

"Hey Hun, do we have anything on this weekend?”

"Hey Hun, did you check the weather?”

The internal device response wants to be:

“Hey mate, grab your phone, check the BOM, open the calendar, or look in the fridge you lazy.......”

Yet somehow, once activated, I still answer. Every time.

The Hey Mum questions, though, are my favourite. They’re ridiculous, random, and said with complete confidence that I know. Not might know, but the true believe I absolutely know.

There’s something quite impressive about that level of belief in me.

Then you get moments like this.

“Hey Mum – would I die if I fell off a skyscraper?”

Device response: “Yes.”

“What if I fell into foam?”

Device response: “Still yes, but now you might suffocate because you’re stuck in the foam.”

“What if I had a titanium suit on?”

Device response: “Still yes. You’re still a human inside metal hitting concrete.”

“What if I fell into the foam?”

Device response: “Still yes, now you’re just deeper in the foam because of the metal suit.”

Thankfully… it stopped there.

For that moment, but it was just a moment, but enough for the device to reboot.

I’ve developed a few techniques to manage device overuse.

In the car, I sometimes just stare out the window and pretend I didn’t hear. Silence can occasionally break the momentum. It’s not foolproof, but it buys a few minutes.

At home, particularly in the evenings, I rely on the ultimate shutdown command:

“It’s late. Time for bed. Off you go.”

Hey Mum device now deactivated…

The “Hey Hun” device, however, doesn’t recognise that command.

It continues running in the background, asking questions, checking plans, and casually ignoring the fact the system is clearly overloaded.

At this point, the only solution…is full system shutdown - which is me, going to bed....only ot wake up reloaded and recharged for another full day of device activation.